


Got Lost in the Moonlight

by InWonderlnd



Series: Where Did I Go? [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Not Beta Read, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InWonderlnd/pseuds/InWonderlnd
Summary: Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.
Relationships: Alex Manes & Kyle Valenti, Isabel Evans & Michael Guerin, Maria Deluca & Liz Ortecho, Michael Guerin & Tess Harding, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Rosa Ortecho & Kyle Valenti, Tess Harding & Alex Manes, Tess Harding/Kyle Valenti
Series: Where Did I Go? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665688
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	1. I’m Right Over Her Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be updated as chapters are added.

Going unseen is an easy thing. Easier still when people aren’t expecting your face. 

He watched her. Studied her until her routine was his routine. It was incredibly ordinary. She moved through this world as if she were one of them, but she was above them, a goddess whose feet touched the ground. He’d wait outside the cafe, turning his head away then back again when she passed. Taking the time to inhale her sweet earthiness. He wanted to sit with her under the setting sun. Map the constellations on her skin under the light of the moon. He imagined her naked skin perfuming sheets. He’d seen enough. It was almost time to set her free, but for a few hours more he would watch.

It was the second Sunday of the month, so in five minutes, she would walk outside and get in her truck. She’d stop at the store then drive deep into the desert. There was a cabin where two men lived. One wore a face he knew, but the posture was wrong. She’d sit on their porch laughing and drinking. The wind would whip her curls around her face. And there were always hands waiting to tuck a curl behind an ear. There were always hands pulling her into long hugs. Others would visit, and they’d bring their hands. There were the hands that came to rest where smooth skin revealed itself and teased. 

It was those last hands that twisted his gut and squeezed his heart. Those hands touching her were killing him. He could feel how breathless she became. Those unworthy hands would lead her away sometimes to a small adobe on a quiet street and other times to a house too big even in the vast emptiness of the desert. There those hands would travel her body. When those hands came to rest, lips and tongue would step in to trace the planes of her stomach, dipping between her thighs. Mouth on her mouth. Limbs tangled together drawing pleasure. 

He could feel her pleasure and her love. He drank it, swallowing deep before retching because he wasn’t the reason. Not in this lifetime. Not in the last lifetime. He knew better than to swear by the moon, so instead he swore by the sun that this time he would win. And in the dull brightness of day, it all made sense, but there’s only so long you can stare at the sun before lies become truth.

** ~11 weeks ago~ **

The smell of ozone was sudden. The sky darkened from blue to bruise to black. The rains poured, drowning the desert in minutes then came the thunder and finally the lightning. The gods were angry. The gods were waking. 

He used his arms to push his head into the world, clawing at the ground to free his lower half. He emerged panting and gaping covered in slick. His eyes blinked from the shimmering bright of the pod. He threw his hands over his ears protecting their newness from the storm’s splintering roars. His journey from death to life exhausted him. He stayed there staring upward remembering her eyes and laughter and the man who made her cry. It was nourishment and venom that lulled him to sleep.

When he came to again he shivered.The storm had left behind a cool night. Staggering to his feet he took in the corners of the small cave, considered trying to return to the pod but rejected it. He had work to do. He stumbled, feet tangling, ankles twisting toward a small forgotten pile. Neglected in the weeks since . . . the weeks since what? There were other memories battering against his memories. He found a blanket and wrapped his nakedness. He kept digging and rejecting papers scribbled with primitive equations and compounds, bags of collected debris, and gloves too small for his hands. He pushed everything away, save a bottle of water, a lantern, and a book written in the language of a civilization still evolving. It was company so he kept it. _Wuthering Heights_. Opening the water he took a long drink. His face twisted at the flat liquid. It almost dried his tongue and was missing the usual effervescence. Crawling into a corner for warmth he read until sleep came again.

A beam of light woke him. He moved toward it and reached out with his mind to move the boards blocking his view. He craved the warmth of the suns. He pushed out into a colorless world. A world with one sun.


	2. Even Found I Would Still Find My Way to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is discovered outside the Crashdown. Everyone is surprised to see him. Liz is blinded by her joy, but Alex Manes is suspicious.

“Why do we always come here?” Tess tried to keep the edge out of her voice, but this was their third visit to the Crashdown in as many weeks. She didn’t have any intention of ever giving up on the Crashdown, but Liz didn’t work every shift and carry out was always an option.

“Because sometimes late at night, you want breakfast for dinner.” Kyle leaned into her, cupping her face with a hand. His thumb slide across her cheek. With their eyes locked, Alex’s voice felt faraway. Kyle jerked away from her, bending to rub his shin.

“For the shakes. And the fries.” Michael pulled his mouth tight and his eyebrow rose.

“And the homicidal waitresses.” Only Michael laughed at Tess’ joke. Alex and Kyle looked to one another with uncertainty. This was a replay of a familiar song. They hadn’t forgiven, but six of them were linked by secrets and responsibilities to come. Trust had to be rebuilt. “Uh oh! Silence from the humans. I think we’ve passed the expiration date for being pissed over blatant disregard for our lives.”

“Multiple disregards.” Michael’s honey eyes were wide in mischievous agreement.

Kyle, forever the peacemaker, spoke up, “It isn’t forgiveness. It’s necessity. It’s also breakfast for dinner.”

Alex rested a hand on the inside of Michael’s thigh, rubbing and getting dangerously close to public indecency. “Listen friends, to forgive is human.” 

Michael leaned into Alex’s ear. “Good thing we don’t have that problem.” Tess’ laughter filled the booth. Michael’s easy grin brought a smile to Alex’s face.

Tess leaned into the table and dropped her voice, raising her eyebrow she looked between the three men. “Don’t look now, but here comes Fatal Attraction.”

“Hey. Welcome to the Crashdown. Drinks to get you started?” Liz looked better than the last time they’d seen her. The hollows in her face were fuller. Tess rubbed her lips together at the sight of Liz’s flaking and cracking lips. Their eyes met over Kyle’s shoulder, but Liz had lost some of her audacity and shattered the moment. 

Still staring at Liz, Tess ordered for the table. “Four cherry cokes.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be right back.”

“I don’t drink cherry coke.”

“Well, you’ll start, Kyle. I’m sure Alex loves it. Michael doesn’t care. And if we all drink the same thing-“

“- she’ll have to poison all of us or none of us. Tess pointed at Michael and nodded. 

“You two are ridiculous.”

“Mostly Guerin, Alex.”

The slam. clatter, and splash of the drinks and tray had Alex on his feet. Instinct and training taking over. “Liz! Are you okay?” Liz stood frozen for just a moment more before pushing through the doors, Kyle and Tess on her heels. They turned into the alley.

“Max?!” Liz’s voice cut through the dark as she gave chase. The hooded figure stood in the shadows back to them, but he turned pushing the hood back and away when Liz called out again, “Max?” His hair was longer, his face bearded, but it was Max Evan.

“Liz?” His voice soft and creaky. The name jagged in his mouth. He cleared his throat putting more power behind it, “Liz.” It was the name on her uniform. He didn’t move forward like Liz and Kyle he was pinned in place. Tess moved first. Her approach was slow and loose, hands hanging by her sides, but eyes focused and wary.

“How? We left you dead in that cave. I left you dead? How are you here?” Now Max moved. His eyes on Tess. “This isn’t possible.”

“You saved me.” Tess’ hair was up tonight, pieces falling free from her morning haste. His hand inched up and forward. Tess stared into his face not noticing his reach, fingers curling in the air with want. Before he could finger the soft curl, before he could tuck it behind her ear Liz rushed forward. She was on her toes pulling him into her, cradling his face in her hands. Her big, wide eyes pools, as tears feel.

She whispered his name, “Max. Max. Max.” Eyes closed she pressed into him, his arms limp. He stared at Tess whose brow was scrunched, her head nodding side to side slowly and slightly.

Kyle had yet to speak, but he felt Michael and Alex by his side. The three of them watched Liz clinging to Max. They had questions for Max, for Tess, but Michael saw she didn’t have the answers they needed.

The moment had come sooner than Max had anticipated. He’d wanted to talk to her alone the first time, but she was never alone. He’d been sloppy, getting too close to the window and letting the light catch him. Early or not, he’d prepared for this moment.

“My memory isn’t all there. I don’t remember.” Liz stepped back her hand grasping at his forearms. When she stopped to look at him, she saw the confusion in his eyes.

“Oh, Max. You warned me with Isabel. You told me that she might lose her memories. We’ll help you. We’ll all help you. We’ll fill in everything you’re missing.” Max moved around her passing Tess to stand between them all, but when he passed he inhaled her scent. It was tainted, but beneath it was still her naked earthiness.

“We could start with names,” it was an easy delivery, hesitant and bashful. One by one they introduced themselves. Rath was now calling himself Michael. His fingers were locked with the one called Alex. Max made note of his perceptiveness, realizing it could present a problem in the future. Kyle was the one he saw wrapped around Tess. He’d watched him taste her. He’d watched him move inside her. Liz crowded him again. Her smile was bright.

“You remember me.”

She came to him last. Her hands clasped. “Hi. I’m Tess.” He watched her mouth form the words.

“Hi, Tess.” He remembered himself. “Hello everyone.” His eyes never left Tess. Michael’s whispering pulled his attention.

“We have to tell Isabel.”

“She can meet us here after closing. It’ll give me time to check him over.”

“No. This is too public. Tell her to meet us at the cabin.” Alex was speaking to Michael and Kyle, but he was watching Max watch Tess. He also watched Tess pretend she didn’t notice the way Max’s eyes fixated on her. He thought back to her words in the cave the night she tried to heal Max. The night she told him that the pod wanted her memories. That the pod had pulled her in and wouldn’t let go. 


	3. It’s Just That It’s Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.
> 
> As Alex, Tess, and Kyle question his sudden resurrection, Liz embraces the love she lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to turn dark in a few chapters, but we’ll just say I’m going to start it in the darkness and bring it into the light. Sort of. Maybe.

Even late at night the deserts are bright. The stars light up everything they touch, and it either makes you feel incredibly small or absolutely infinite. Since she was 13, Isabel had felt like a small thing in the night. What seemed possible in the light of day felt impossible in the dark, but tonight was different. Tonight as she drove far outside of Roswell she felt infinite and believed anything was possible.

Tess sat on the porch, staring at the moon. She was bundled in an oversized gray sweater, her hands hidden in the sleeves, her feet braced again the wooden planks. There was no turn of her head to let Isobel know that Tess had heard the approach of her car or the slam of the door. When Isobel was close enough, Tess still didn’t look at her, but she spoke, “They’re all inside. He’s inside. Max, I mean.”

“Thanks.” When no response came, Isobel pushed open the door and scanned the room. There he was. Just sitting in a chair, Liz sitting on the arm with her thigh pressed into him, holding his hand in hers. The red rim of her eyes was a contrast to their shine. Michael sat in a chair he pulled from the kitchen on the other side of Max, but he yielded his seat when the closing door tore his attention from Max.

“Is.” There was a quake in his voice.

“Michael,” her voice matched his. She didn’t immediately take the seat. She floated just to the side, staring at Max. It was all she had wanted for so many months, and now that it was a reality she was uncertain. It was too many feelings and thoughts. She didn’t know what to say to him, so she said, “Max?” It was a question. “Are you really here?”

“I don’t think I’m a ghost.” His smile was easy and he stood to fold her in his arms. “Isobel. If I remembered anything, I would probably say that I missed you.” When he angled a little backward he was still smiling and she had started to cry.

“He died. Now, he thinks he’s funny.” Michael looked to the room, but Alex and Kyle gave only ghost smiles.

Kyle pushed away from the wall. He was really speaking to Alex, but he let hi voice carry, “I’m going to check on Tess.”

Isobel had finally let go of Max. Sitting on the chair she asked one of the questions playing around in her mind. “She seems . . . not okay?”

Kyle raised his hands into the air with a shrug. Well, when you resurrect the resurrector, what does that make you?” With that, Kyle’s hands dropped to his side. With exhaustion collapsing the angles of his face, he nodded toward the door.

“Omnipotent. It makes her omnipotent.” No one hid their surprise when Max spoke.

“Great. I’ll tell her the dead man says she’s a god. That should fix her right up.”

Kyle was out the door, so he didn’t hear Max’s reply, “It is great.”

Alex doubted Max’s response sounded to the others the way it sounded to him. It reminded him of all those Easters Jesse Manes would drag his sons to church, the collar of his shirt kneading its way into his flesh and the tie like a noose. When everyone’s eyes closed in prayer, Alex would watch. It was more than worship. It was bliss and ecstasy. He’d never found that in the prayer or the word. It was a mystery to him until he was 17. And when he found it, he was standing beneath the false stars of a tourist trap, and when lips touched his lips it was worship and the word. It brought him to him his knees. Cosmic.

Alex came back to the room. Michael was beside him, “Hey, you with me?”

“Yeah, sorry. I should be asking you that.”

“I’m okay. I think? Who knows.” Alex looked at the lopsided grin that was never a sure sign of Michael’s mental space, so he made his way to the clear, honey of his eyes. The brow was furrowed and the eyes pensive, but there was no sign of distress. Lacing their fingers, Alex gave the room his attention.

“We were on Max needing a place to stay. Out of sight. He should stay here.”

“Or he could stay with Rosa.” Liz looked into Max’s eyes. “I could stay with you both. In Texas.” Liz didn’t bother to cover the eagerness in her voice, but she also didn’t stop to consider the selfishness of her suggestion.

“We all got him back, Liz. You aren’t going to take him away like he’s your new favorite toy that you don’t want to share.” Isobel wasn’t in the mood. Liz’s suggestion unearthed all her old insecurities about Max’s blind devotion.

“I’m not taking him away from you. I’m trying to keep him safe!”

“Keep him to yourself is what you mean.”

“That’s-“ Liz didn’t finish.

“I’d like to stay here.” Max’s voice was quiet.

“You heard him, Liz. He wants to stay here.”

Liz ignored Isobel’s taunt and turned to Max. She placed her hand on his arm and stroked. “Are you sure Max?”

“I’m sure.” He placed his hand on top of hers, stopping the stroke of her hand. It was a bothersome itch. “I can’t remember who I was and those memories aren’t going to come back without all of you.”

When Alex looked at Max, his eyes were hooded. “Great. We’ll make a supplies run tomorrow, but you should have everything you need to get you through a night.”

“I can stay with you.” Isobel couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling at Liz’s suggestion.

Max chimed in before Isobel’s aggression could attempt to shame Liz. “I think . . . I think I’d like to be alone.”

Liz blinked back tears. She felt the sting of Max’s rebuff despite the gentle delivery. “Whatever you need, Max.”

“Time. All I need is time.”

“We should all be leaving. There are two doctors outside that think you need to rest. I’ll let them know we’re about to head out. See you.” With that said to the group. Alex turned to Michael and lowered his voice. “If you want to stay longer, I’ll get a ride from Kyle and Tess.Please, don’t let me rush you.”

“Little longer for me. Go home. Get off your leg.” Michael pulled Alex to him and moved in for a kiss. Alex lifted his arms and buried one hand in Michael’s hair and the other he laid over Michael’s heart. It was a kiss that could have gone on, but they knew they had an audience. Stepping apart, Michael pressed his mouth against Alex’s ear, “Wait up for me.”

“Absolutely.”

The last thing Alex hears, “Honestly, Michael, you two are-“

A shiver went through Alex. The thickness of the air outside was near choking. He felt as wrong outside as he had inside, the concern was growing, but there were no words for the feeling. The silence on the porch was a pause. He hadn’t walked into the middle of something, he walked into the space between backwards and forwards. Kyle was good at waiting, and Tess was stubborn. Kyle’s relaxed posture was the picture perfect portrait of a winner. Kyle sighed deeply before facing Alex.

“It’s a beautiful night, but I asked Tess to make the sun rise. She refused. She isn’t really embracing her godhood.”

“That’s surprising. Does this mean now isn’t the best time to request a flood?”

“I definitely think tomorrow would be better, but I’m holding out that tonight might bring a plague or two.”

“Maybe we need to start smaller, water into wine.

“Oh. That’s promising.” With that, Tess cut her eyes toward them.

Alex nodded his head in Tess’ direction. “Do we know why Huitzilopochtli is so grumpy?

“Who the hell is that Alex? You couldn’t have gone Zeus or Aphrodite?”

“You two are stupid dicks. I’m not grumpy. I’m processing. Which I told Thing 1 over there.” She whipped a finger in Kyle’s direction.

Kyle pointed at himself and mouthed at Alex, “I’m Thing 1.”

Alex mouthed back, “For now.”

Tess ignored them. “This doesn’t make sense. He was dead. That was months ago. He’s just been what? Fucking recharging in a pod?” Her hands slashed and waved through the air.

Alex let the smile on his face fall away. “I agree. It’s strange, but brooding doesn’t get us answers. I told them we were leaving.”

Kyle pulled Tess from the chair. “I need you to stop stealing my sweaters.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. This one is called Harriet, and she loves me.” He let out a soft chuckle before he kissed the side of her head. Tess raised her hand to find Alex’s and the three of them walked out to the car linked, leaving the mystery behind them.

Max peered through the window and watched them leave. He watched her.


	4. Don’t Deny What You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

The desert stood silent around the cabin. Max welcomed the stillness and isolation. He could think and plan. The night had gone on longer than he wanted, and once Tess left, without saying goodbye, he wasn’t interested in continuing his welcome home.

Michael was the first to leave. He hugged Max, clapping a hand on his back. Liz and Isobel sat, each trying to wait for the other to leave. Max looked between them knowing neither would be the first to break. Liz who had vacated the arm of his chair for a chair of her own drew close to him, placed a hand on each of thighs and asked again, quietly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I can Max. I will.”

He’d looked into her eyes. They were big and a beautiful brown. Her dark thick hair fell down and over her shoulders. He could let her stay. He could be satisfied in the having even if he didn’t want her for longer than right now. He knew, if she stayed, she would never leave. He’d seen the look in her eyes before today. He saw it when he stood in gas station mirrors thinking of Tess. He saw it when he sat on the edge of beds in roadside motels, naked legs spread before a mirror while a kneeling stranger held him deep in their mouths and swallowed. They all thought he was calling them Tess. It was what love looked like.

“I’m sure. Another night. I just need time.” Her hands had started to make slow circles on his thighs. Again, he placed his hands on top of hers to make the sensation stop.

There was the hurt again. “I understand.” She didn’t. “Take my phone. Call the Crashdown if you need me.” She found an old flyer in her bag and wrote down a number.

Isobel did the same. Leaving her number for him. They snapped at one another for a few minutes more. He didn’t bother listening. It was the slump of his body that finally brought them to their feet. He followed them out the door into the cool night air. The stars looked just out of reach. He stayed on the porch until both sets of taillights disappeared.

Once they left, Max wandered the sparsely furnished space. He paced between the kitchen and the main room. There were no pictures, no books, nothing to tell him about these people. Tomorrow they would return and he would learn everything he could.

Isobel had promised to stop by with clothes. She was so like the sister he remembered, but too human. Michael, who like Rath was always the most human, promised to bring books. Liz promised him food and company. Despite his momentary consideration of letting her body warm his, he didn’t understand what existed between them, but he could tell it was transcendent, and while he felt for her—what must it be to lose what you love only to think it had come back to you—he didn’t feel for her. Her Max Evans didn’t exist.

There were small fragments of him. Of her Max Evans. The small town man who hid himself. The small town man who walked through life with his head bowed and his greatness hidden. The small town man who once dreamed of oceans surrounding him and carrying his body on currents, of cobblestones beneath his feet, of climbing mountains conquered and claimed by emperors and kings. Max Evans was a small town man. He was a god contained. The very idea made energy crackle on the surface of his skin.

He pulled back the indignation born of shame. Displays of power exhausted him. Moving the few boards at the cave had left him depleted for days. This body wasn’t familiar with what it could do, muscle memory nonexistent. It wouldn’t ever be as great as it once was. He would never equal Tess, but he’d happily bow to her if only she would love him. She would love him.

His body was running on low. He found the small bedroom and the attached bathroom. He stared at the unruly mane in the mirror, turning his head from side to side. It suited him he decided. He looked like the outlaws he’d read about when he wasn’t watching Tess.

He stripped, leaving the clothes in a heap on the floor. Walking back to the bed, he took a moment to be grateful. It was rare that he was, but in this body of little power in this dull world he was humbled. Sliding between the cool sheets, he felt the tension of the months, weeks, hours fade away, and he closed his eyes not yet ready for sleep.

He wanted to dream of her. Thinking of her standing in front of him, trusting him enough to expose herself, to turn away from him—unguarded. She’d stand bare before him and he’d lay kisses across her neck and back, until she arched and begged. Only when her legs wouldn’t hold her would he pull her to him. He wanted to dream of this, so he did. It was a good sleep.


	5. Life Is Just a Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

The sun rose high and bright. The air was filled with the charge of a pending storm. It was too hot. Too bright. The erratic weather had everyone uneasy. It felt like the start of something. Thunder would crash in the middle of a sunny day and somewhere invisible lightning would strike, but the rains would rarely come despite the constant smell of ozone. The sky wouldn’t darken. The clouds wouldn’t race. It had been months since they had released and relieved the parched earth. Everyone was mistaken, it wasn’t weather, it was warning.

Max woke with a shuddering cry. His dreams a steady mix of nightmare and ecstasy. The sheets beneath him were damp and his stomach sticky.

_In the night, war came back to him, the smells of charred flesh, the sound of bone snapping, the dull thud of bodies hitting the ground, Rath dying in his arms and the look of horror and blame on Ava’s face. When there was a pause in the fighting, so both forces could bury their dead, he went to her. He found her standing in the dark in the home she’d shared with Rath. She faced a wall of glass looking out over the blowing grass, war hadn’t found this place of sanctuary. Her back was to him, she’d heard him enter, but wouldn’t face him._

_“I am sorry, Ava. He died protecting me.”_

_“He loved you Zan, but he died because he thought he owed you. Because of me. I was never yours. I am never going to be yours. Leave.”_

_It was months before she would look at him again, but it was too late. She raced through the allies and enemies, felling unfamiliar faces and pushing aside the familiar ones. She held him as he died, their eyes meeting. The movement of her lips distracted him and his brain never captured the words. With his last breath, he imagined it was “I love you.”_

Body wet he stood in the open doorway in sweatpants too short for the length of him and a gray t-shirt. He watched the approach of Liz’s car and steeled himself from what their time alone would be. He held out hope for another car coming toward the cabin, but the distance was empty. He could see the electricity of her smile before she stepped out of the car. Max moved inside without waiting, leaving the door open.

Liz dropped a bag onto the table before pushing her body into his. She brought her hands up around Max and laid her head on his chest. She rubbed up and down the length of his back, taking in his familiar warmth. Warmer than he needed to be, but it was heat she craved.

Max brought his hands around her andsqueezed. It was what she wanted, so he gave it to her. He held her as long as he could, before the itch started, the crawl over and around him. Pulling away, he kissed the top of her head. She melted into it. He realized he didn’t know how to do this. How to crawl from beneath something you didn’t want, but that wanted you.

“Whatever that is smells great.” His gestures in this body were bashful. It was a new feeling. Assurance and grace were once his backbone, the remnants of Max Evans made him soft.

With a dancer’s flourish Liz pulled carryout boxes from the bag, one after the other. “These are churro pancakes. You will love them.” Her voice dripped with playfulness.

“Okay,” he chuckled. I am sure I will.”

The sweet and spice were familiar on his tongue. This was pleasure he remembered from home. Every bite brought waves of remembrance. _Sitting hidden in fields with his friends, the four of them eating the sticky, round sweets and recounting their day. The way the some students would steer clear afraid of the power they could wield or the arrogant ones that would try to infiltrate their circle. The four of them were too insular. The council warned they needed to win the trust of the people. Beautiful monsters are still monsters some of the elders would say._

“What should we do after we eat? I have the whole day just for you.” Liz voice broke the spell. Max had returned to this small cabin and this woman’s love.

“Could we sit here and talk? I have questions.”

“We’re talking now, and we can keep talking.”

“Who is Tess?” Liz reached a hand upward and rubbed her neck, the wide smile she wore folded into a straight line. Her eyes turning sad.

“Tess is . . . uh, Tess is . . . Tess is Tess.”

“She is like me though, right? I am asking because I saw her before I came out of the pod. I could feel her even before I knew her name.” He knew his questions were cruel. He could have asked any of the others, but this was the only way he knew to scramble out of her reach. “I can still feel her.”

Liz’s eyes didn’t quite meet his. Her hands twisting out of sight. “She’s the one that brought you back. She healed you. What you feel now? That bond? It’ll fade. I promise. Then you won’t be so lost in her head. Maybe your memories will come back then.” Max didn’t want the connection to fade. He didn’t think it would. It had twice survived death. “After you healed me, we were connected. You told me I was feeling what you felt. You’re probably feeling Tess’ feelings for Kyle.” Liz swallowed at her own obviousness, grinding her nails against her jeans for her unnecessary and uncharacteristic jealousy.

“I am not feeling what she feels. I just feel her.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Uh, she is with me. This pulsing of blue and purple in my heart and in my head. I know she is in this world. I don’t know what she is doing or even exactly what she is feeling.” That wasn’t entirely true. He knew exactly where she was, he paused and flipped through all that he knew of Tess. _It was the 4th Tuesday of the month, she was at the hospital. She would be there until 2._

“Oh.” Max’s words brightened Liz, but he was confused about the why. He felt that what he was describing was far deeper than knowing what Tess was feeling. He was with her and she was with him. It was one of the sweetest things. “That’s just your alien beacon thing.” Liz extended a hand in explanation. Scratching her forehead before continuing. “You all have it. You can find one another when you need to, I guess. I don’t know exactly how that works. Isobel or Michael would have a better answer.”

“Right, but I do no- don’t feel them.”

“You will. It’s because she healed you.” Convincing yourself is sometimes harder than convincing other people, but Liz was used to telling the lies she needed to hear to make it through this life. “Do you want to know anything about us?” Liz’s voice rose and she stood, making her way to where he sat. She stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning close. Her head against his heard. Her mouth pressed close. The sweet scent of her surrounded him. “Because I was thinking that you could mark me, with your handprint, you’ve done it before. You could feel what I feel for you, what we feel for each other. Maybe, I could share my memories of us. It might help, Max.” Max turned toward her mouth, it was pink and plush. Here was another invitation. He considered how many he’d refuse before he let himself have. He’d asked the question as he showered that morning. Why was this any different than the company he found for a few hours, but never for the night. He knew the answer. This one had friends. This one had expectations. The sound of boots on wood saved them both.

Alex stood in fatigues with bags hanging from his arms. Liz’s arms were pulled away from Max when he stood.

“Supplies as promised.” Alex lifted his arms as if showing off his finds.

“You’re a soldier?”

“Airman.” Max nodded at the correction, but he didn’t register the difference.

“Hey, Alex.” She knew Alex hadn’t gotten over what she’d done to Michael. She doubted he ever would, but she was determined to act as if the decades of their friendship wasn’t in pieces.

“Liz.” The neutrality of his voice was a slap.

Max didn’t notice Liz’s awkwardness or Alex’s eagerness to leave. He was too busy protecting himself. “Sit. Stay. We have more of these pancakes. Liz brought them.”

“I just came to drop these off for now. I have to get back.”

“Oh, okay. Where is Michael?”

“He’s at work.”

“Could I go see him. I have alien questions.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.” Alex glanced at his watch.

Max turned to Liz. “Would you take me there? To his work.”

“Ah, sure. Yes. Of course. You need answers.” The nodding was vigorous. ”I’m just going to step into the bathroom. I’ll meet you two outside.”

Alex stood with his arms behind his back, a position of rest, but Max could see that he was coiled. “There are boots in the bag. Sturdier that what you were wearing.” Alex waited just a beat. “And longer pants, but this is a look.”

Max sat down and put on socks and laced up the boots then followed Alex outside. He could see Liz in the kitchen now. He should have cleaned up the mess. It wasn’t her mess. Leaving her to it he looked at Alex. “Can you feel Michael?”

“Excuse me?” Alex’s eyebrows shot upward. 

“When he’s away from you, do you have a sense of him in the world?”

“Oh, different question. I think I do. The world feels right, so I know he’s okay.”

“I can feel Tess.”

“What do-“ Liz came outside and conversation halted.

“Ready, Max?”

“I am. Thank you Alex.” And he was thankful for what Alex had said. It was exactly that—Tess was in the world and it felt right.


	6. Comfortable and So Broken In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first of four chapters coming today (3/27)!

Liz tried to stay with Max, but with a hand on her knee, running up the length of her thigh, he’d explained that he would be longer than anyone should wait. That he’d see her later. That he needed to think about her offer. That he wanted to talk to his brother. It was all motion and words. It was manipulation. The absolute truth, he wanted to talk to Michael without having to be careful with his words. He wanted to ask Michael questions Liz wouldn’t answer. He wanted to talk about Tess. 

Alex must have let Michael know to expect him because he waved at them from across the dusty lot. He wiped his hands on a tattered, stained cloth before tucking it into a back pocket. He looked windblown and effortless. He was at ease. It was an expression Rath wore once he’d told Zan about Ava. Once he told Zan that the two of them were in love. Michael was in love. Good for him Max thought. Max only cared that it wasn’t Tess. The rest didn’t matter much to him.

“Hey, Michael.” Max was adapting his speech to theirs. It was one word that could carry so much behind it. He’d watch Tess say it to colleagues but it was different when she said it to friends and different still when she said it to Kyle. It could be clipped or milked.

“Max. Alex told me you were coming. You wanna sit.” He gestured at a makeshift seating area, old mismatched pieces of furniture near a fire pit. “Drink? No, water. It’s too early.”

“No. Thank you though.”

Michael smirked before leaning forward and slapping Max on the knee. “You gotta loosen up, Max.”

“Trying. I just feel like I was underwater for a long time and suddenly surfaced and . . . things look the same, but they don’t feel the same.”

“Yeah. A lot’s changed since . . . ah, since-“

“Since I died.”

“Yeah.”

“Like Tess.”

“Yeah. She . . . moved back  home after you died. Actually, for a while we thought she’d moved back home because you died.”

“What?”

“Yeah. She had . . . an episode. Passed out, woke up, and knew she needed to come home. She arrived the day of your funeral. Been here ever since. Now, there’s Va-“

Max let Michael go on a tangent about Kyle Valenti while he digested the new information. Even listening intently to Michael, his hearing was selective. He pieced together select sections and arrived at _“I brought Tess home.”_ Max shook away the thought and jumped back into the conversation.  “I can feel her. She’s with me all the time. Like a wanted weight. I like it.”

“I get that.”

“Yeah?”

“I can feel her too. You’re right, it’s a wanted weight. Tess coming back to Roswell. Alex,” Michael didn’t try to hide his smile, “they’ve given me something I never thought I’d have.” Michael shrugged. 

Max nodded. The afternoon sun was something he craved. He turned his face into the bright rays and drank in the light and the heat. It was one more thing that reminded him of home, but the dryness of the desert was something he wasn’t sure he’d ever learn to enjoy.  “Should I tell her?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell her?” Michael looked around Max when he heard a car approaching. “Give me a sec.”

Max watched Michael. He was so intent on the woman’s concerns. She kept gesturing to her car and Michael kept nodding. It wasn’t the nodding he’d been doing since he’d crawled into this world. The detached movement he used to engage people while actually losing himself in thought. Michael was actually listening to herand cared. This service job, this catering to people with small problems and small minds was beneath him. His mind was made for more. Michael returned, “Hey. You’re welcome to stay, but I’ve got to work while we talk.” Michael walked back to the car he’d been working on when Max arrived. “This one shouldn’t take me much longer then one more.”

“Why do you do this?”

“Do what? This?” Michael waved his hand over the car.

“Yes. Why do you do this?” Max mimicked the gesture. “ You could do more?”

Michael blew out a breath. “I forget how much you don’t know. Ah . . . I stayed in Roswell to watch over Isobel. We both did. Senior year was rough for us. We gave up a lot. We lost a lot. All of us. Human. Alien. All of us. We’re working it out though. You’ll catch up.” Michael turned back to the car but paused and turned back to Max. “ And I like it. I like working with my hands.”

Max watched him work for awhile, but eventually he wandered away taking in all the sights. Broken things, deconstructed things, reconstructed things, and a hum. He moved closer to the airstream and the hum grew louder. He could feel vibrations coming from beneath the ground. There was something calling to him. He closed his eyes and answered. He heard a grinding and a drag. There was white noise but he ignored it. He wasn’t using his powers just responding to a call. Without warning, he was thrown backward. The connection was broken and there was silence.

“What the hell were you doing?!” Michael stalked toward him all the former ease and friendliness missing.

“I . . . it called to me. I answered.”

“Called! Answered?!” Michael flung his arms wide. “I get the you don’t have your memories, but you have to know aliens aren’t welcome. In Roswell. In this country. And we don’t do this kind of shit in public, Max. We’re trying to avoid white rooms and fucking dissection,” Michael hissed. 

“It called to me. I was answering. It was instinct.”

“Well, your instinct sucks.”

“Sorry. I am . . . I have questions and not enough answers. I was part of something but remember nothing. I feel like someone else and none of you know that someone else. You have no idea who I am because I have no idea who I am. Max Evans who is that? Am I Max Evans?” Max realized he was coming dangerously close to the truth, but he stood a little straighter. He spent the last two days hiding from them. Hiding his desires and instincts. He was exhausted but not stupid. He reigned himself in and replaced the mask.

Michael processed the information. The muscles in his jaw right with worry. “It’ll get easier. And you might not be the Max Evans we all remember, but you’re still Max Evans. You’re going to figure this out. We are going to help you figure it out. And we’ll all adapt.

“How? You all knew me before. You all want me to be what I was before.”

“No.” Michael brought a hand to his chest. “I want you to be you. That’s it.”

“Not everyone will like the new Max Evans.”

“Hey. Not everybody likes me. Look at us bonding. Isobel will be happy.” Michael’s full lips formed a smile. “Come on, I’m going to get this done.” Michael led Max back to the makeshift seating area. 

“What is it? Underground.”

Michael looked over his shoulder. “A way home. Part of the ship that brought us here.” Max froze. He was torn. Tell Michael what he knew about home. Risk everything by telling him it was a place he could never go or let him believe. Max knew how dangerous hope could be. When it’s extinguished,a dark void opens inside of you, and it swallows malice and anger. It becomes a poison, but you believe it’s an elixir and feed on it and let it feed on you until who you thought you were dies. They were friends once. Max let himself believe they could be again. He opened his mouth to take the risk.  “But Tess told us there’s no planet left. Supernova.” Michael puffed out his cheeks and let the air escape. “I spent weeks making Superman jokes. I thought Alex was going to make me sleep in the truck.” Michael finally noticed Max’s silence. He dropped his hand to his sides. “Sorry. You were never big on home.” Michael pointed upward. “You loved Roswell. Although, maybe you just loved Liz.” Michael tried to lighten the mood. “Are you okay? That was big news.”

“Yeah. Big news, but maybe not for me. Being dead and then alive is definitely bigger.”

A car sped on the lot, gravel and dust flying as the driver slammed on the breaks. The door was thrown up and long jeans clad legs appeared. Isobel strode toward them with flushed checks and a scowl.

“I’m guessing you didn’t tell Isobel you were leaving the cabin. She’s going to kill you. It was a good run, man.”

“Max! I went to the cabin and you weren’t there. I had to track down Liz to find you. You cannot just wander off. I lost you. I will not lose you again. Either of you.”

“Isobel, give him a break He just wanted to talk.”

“He can talk to me too, Michael.“

“I know. I’m sure he knows that. You’re sure selling yourself right now. Not terrifying at all.” Michael was silenced by the way Isobel cut her eyes in his direction. With that, she plastered on a smile for Max.

“You know what we need? We need an alien night. Some bonding. No humans.” Isobel turned to Michael and raised an eyebrow. “That means no Alex. You’ll have to survive for a few hours without him. Can you handle that?”

Michael frowned. “No, but for you I’ll try my hardest."

“Tell Tess.”

“I’m pretty sure you mean ask Tess.”

“No, I mean tell her.” 

“Since you were nice about.” Michael pulled the rag out of his pocket and wiped his hands, dropping the dirty rag on the stand holding his tools. Picking up his phone he sent a quick message. “I made sure to tell her this was all you, Is.”

“I’m not afraid of Tess, Michael.”

“I know. It’s the one way you aren’t smart.” Michael’s phone gave a loud ding. He looked at the screen, smirked then laughed.” He turned the phone around to show Isobel.

“Who says that?! ‘I do what I want.’ Is she serious?”

“The most serious.”

Max heard himself laugh. Some things transcend lifetimes. 


	7. Something About the Way You Stare into My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

“Why am I here, and when did we start segregating?

“We aren’t segregating, Tess. I just thought Max might have alien questions.”

“Okay, but why does that take three aliens.”

“Tess, please.” Isobel softened her voice and relaxed her posture. Gone was the woman that could tackle the world. Here stood a sister. Isobel letting down her guard was a weakness for Tess. It was in those moments that Isobel’s fractures were on display. She’d healed so much, but there was still more to come. The road to friendship for them was still being paved. The parts that were still packed dirt where full of unfinished kisses never mentioned. The ugly parts were the aftermath of Max’s death. Tess’ refusal, Isobel’s threats, and a wall where there was once trust. The wall was crumbling, but still it stood as a reminder. Isobel pulled Tess aside. “Michael says Max feels connected to you. I think you being around make him comfortable.”

Tess looked over her shoulder to where Max and Michael were standing. “I’m not sure it makes me comfortable.” Tess looked to Isobel and away again. Tess felt the gentle pressure of Isobel’s touch on her arm and focused solely on Isobel. Her eyes were liquid and Tess softened. “Isobel, I understand. You lost him. You’re afraid.”

“Of course, I’m afraid! I have to be. He doesn’t remember anything. His life. Our lives. He seems to be trying with Michael, but for right now at least . . . you’re his person.”

“I’m not his person. It’s just some lingering bond from me doing my best Frankenstein impression.”

“I know, Tess. I know you aren’t his person. Not like that. Just make him stay. Help him remember why he’d want to stay.”

“I’m sorry, has he told you he doesn’t want to stay? This fear talking. And I don’t know him. I saw him around the summer after graduation. The next time I saw Max he was dead. I don’t have any insight.”

“I can feel it. You feel like something real to him. Please, Tess. Just try. He needs friends.” Their eyes lingered for just a moment, but it was enough.

“Fine.” Isobel moved her hand to Tess’s elbow and pulled her into a hug. Tess pulled away and joined Michael and Max in the other room. Michael was telling Max about some kid setting off the sprinklers during an AP Chemistry test.

“Ms. Topolsky didn’t care. She told us to finish.” 

Tess broke in to the conversation. “I t wasn’t some kid. It was Kyle Valenti. Instead of studying he’d played beer pong with the other football players. They were all fucking idiots.”

Max’s forehead scrunched. “You think Kyle is an idiot.”

“In high school? Oh! He was absolutely a fucking idiot. Barely human.” Max laughed. He loved the way she spoke her mind. Her brashness was part of what drew him to her. Her brilliance and fearless played their part.

“Yeah. And Tess,” Michael nodded in her direction, his smile broad, “she walked to the front of class and told Topolsky she was in violation of the Geneva Convention and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. And she just kept going. I thought Topolsky was going to cry. She finally let us go, and as we were leaving Tess ratted out Kyle.” Michael turned to Tess. “I spent all week thinking Valenti was going to get revenge. Use the football team to hurt you.”

“Please! Kyle and the entire football team thought I was a witch murderer.”

“That’s because after Devin slapped your ass, he needed four courses of antibiotics to cure his jock itch. It was months.”

“And I still don’t feel guilty.”

“It wasn’t all bad, was it?” Michael’s face took on a faraway look. Max could almost see the ghost of memories pass before his eyes.

“High School? It wasn’t.” When their eyes met, the smiles on their faces were small and almost bashful. Max watched something familiar pass between them. It was a look he’d seen before. It seemed that in every lifetime they were good at keeping secrets, sharing secret looks, living in a world made just for the two of them. Max didn’t want to walk through their shared history.

“Were we all friends in high school?”  Max’s voice was louder than he meant, but it broke the spell. He’d felt his anger mounting. He kept reminding himself that anger and jealousy had won him nothing before and he hadn’t fought his way back to repeat the same mistakes.

Isobel arrived on a forced laugh, “We were not. Well, they were secret friends.” She raised and eyebrow and pointed a stiff finger at Michael and Tess. “I bet they have stories to tell.”

“Isobel wasn’t anyone’s friend in high school. And you were either making heart eyes at Liz or lost in a book. And Michael was just a nerd making heart eyes at Alex then panicking about making heart eyes at Alex then making more heart eyes at Alex then-“

“I wasn’t a nerd. And I think he gets it Tess.” 

“Does he? As you can see, not much has changed.”

“The three of you are so clique.” Isobel rolled her eyes. “You two and your,” she pitched her voice higher and fluttered her eyelashes, “I found my one true love in high school.” Tess didn’t escape her mockery, “And your enemies to lovers thing with Kyle.”

“Kyle wasn’t my enemy. He was Alex’s. I enjoyed pulling the wings off things that hurt Alex. Still do. It’s like a cool hobby.”

The banter between them was easy. He kept track of how many times Tess looked at him. The sound of her voice when she spoke to him. When she placed a hand on his shoulder and let it linger for seconds that felt like minutes he almost came undone. He’d excused himself to the bathroom and buried the cry of her name in the flesh of his arm, drawing blood as he came. No one noticed the flush of his cheek when he returned. No one noticed how close he sat to her. He hoped she could smell the sex on him.

Max felt languid for the first time in a long time. This is what it used to be, the four of them bound by fate and bonded by friendship. Across space. Across time. Uncertainty and insecurity still raced through his mind, but everything he thought he needed was in this room. He decided then that he would have this forever. He would have this friendship. He would have Tess. The humans, when the time was right, could burn.


	8. I Need a Hit, Baby, Give Me It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter.

Max started to knock but drew his hand away before making contact. He simply stood there trying to figure out what he hoped would happen if she let him through the door. He wanted her friendship because he wanted more. When they’d both been gods, friendship wasn’t their issue. They were friends and kindred spirits, but there she’d been in love with another god. Kyle was no god. 

He raised his hand but again withdrew. What would be his reason for showing up uninvited? Head bowed he realized his reason would be the truth. He was a stranger in a strange land. It was a fitting thought his old memories told him. He knocked. No sound came from the other side. He knocked again. Still nothing. “Damn.”

“Max?” Tess was a little ways away, walking toward him, her hands on her waist, thumbs forward. “Been here long? I went for a run.”

Make rubbed the back of his head, pushing the fingers through his hair. “Ah, no. Not long at all.” He fought the urge to let his eyes travel her body. It was all here. Only display and for the taking.

“Come in. You want anything?”

“Water. Sparkling water. If you have it.”

“Oh, afternoon fancy.”

“If it’s no trouble?”

“It’s not.” She pulled a bottle from the wine fridge. “It’s plain not flavored. Might I also recommend these.” Tess grabbed a bag from the counter and waved them. “They are peach flavored gummy rings a lesser form of delicious when compared to gummy sharks, but they hit all the right spots.” Max’s eyes followed her as she moved through the kitchen. Her energy and ease were infectious. “Hey, I’m gross. Do you mind keeping yourself company for like 20?”

“I have fancy water and a lesser form of gummy, so I think I can make it.” Before she made it out of the kitchen, she spun.

“You’re okay, right?” Max nodded. “Okay. We’ll talk when I get out of the shower.”

“Yeah. That would be great.”

“Hey, Michael’ might come over to look at my truck. If he knocks, would you mind answering? He usually lets himself in using the key in his brain, but just in case he’s learned manners since yesterday, listen out. Yeah?”

“Of course. Yes.”

Max shoved the peach rings in the pocket of his hoodie and wandered, sipping the cool water as he went. His eyes closed when the fresh effervescence hit his tongue. The house seemed endless. There were pictures of Tess throughout the years. He drew his hands across her face in each one. In the final picture, she stood for the third time in cap and gown. In all of them, it was the face he remembered. And it was real again, the face, the body. Every inch of her.

He stopped to listen for the sound of her feet, but the house around him was silent. He moved through the house until he was outside the bathroom door. It wasn’t what he’d come to do, but it was an impulse he couldn’t push away. He leaned against the heavy wood, listening for the sound of water then reached for the knob. Pushing away from the door, knob in hand he twisted. It moved easily in his hand, but he didn’t push the door open. Not yet. He reached for his belt, feeling for the buckle, growing hard in anticipation.


	9. Let the Past and Future Fall Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.  
> Series

Maria Deluca wasn’t one to let pride get in the way. She needed help. She needed Tess Harding’s help. Theyhadn’t spoken in months not since Maria told Tess that she was the actual root of all evil, but if she had to make amends to save her mother then she would make amends. Mimi had started to say things, things that couldn’t possibly be true. Seeing dead men walk.

Tess’ truck was parked in front of the house. She wasn’t invited, and Tess wasn’t expecting her, but she’d hoped she would find her alone. Stepping out of her own truck she pulled the edges of the blazer straight and brushed her hands over the invisible wrinkles in her skirt. 

Raising her hand she knocked on the bright red, double wooden doors. _“No one in Roswell needs a house this big,”_ she said to herself. She pasted on her best smile when the door started to creak inward, “Hi, Te-“ The name died on her lips. Tess Harding hadn’t opened the door. It was Max Evans, but he was dead. Maria’s brain was slow to process but eventually flight registered and she turned to run, but her feet tangled and her knees buckled, so she scrambled backwards on her hand. She didn’t know what she was seeing, but she knew Max Evans was dead. He was moving toward her hands extended waving, his face creased with panic or worry. She knew she’d never make it back to her truck, but she screamed anyway. She screamed at the end of this long driveway far from the road. She screamed in front of this isolated house. She screamed knowing no one would save her. 

“What‘s going on?! Max?” Then Tess saw Maria. “Fuck! Maria.” Tess squatted by her, her skin was wet and patches of her shirt were clinging to her body. She held out a hand, which Maria took, dragging them both to standing.

“I thought he had killed you. I thought you were in there dead.”

“Thought or hoped?” Tess smiled, a genuine one in spite of the situation. The universe had decided for Michael, Isabel, Liz, and Alex. There was no choice now, Maria had to be told the truth.

Max stood against a wall far away from Maria, where she could see him, so she could feel safe. Maria didn’t understand what Tess was saying. She kept telling her it was Max. She kept saying that Liz and Alex and everyone would be there as soon as they could. But she knew it wasn’t Max. This thing didn’t feel like Max. The shimmer of light around him was flat. Max Evans was dead. This was a monster.

When they first got inside, Tess almost left her to finish her shower, but Maria chased after her. Maria sat in the bathroom then the bedroom with her while Tess changed. Maria hadn’t been able to ask questions then, but Tess kept asking her questions and waiting for the response, walking over to look into her eyes, and checking her pulse. Once in the kitchen, she poured them both drinks. 

“I thought the Pony bartenders had a generous pour.”

“This doctor says it’s medicinal. Highly recommended. Cheers.” After a second glass, Tess moved Maria to a sofa. Max steered clear of Maria. He was as wary of her as she was of him, and he sensed something different about her. It unnerved him. It wasn’t power like Tess or Michael or Isabel. It was a different power. She could see him.

Everyone arrived in waves. Isobel was the first to show. She looked to Tess before kneeling by Maria.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m on my fourth glass. I’m not okay.” Isabel rubbed her arm and stood. She found Max exactly where he’d been since Tess saved Maria. 

Tess tried to coax him closer, but he was afraid of the seer.  “Max. You have to come closer. You look like a predator.”

“I make her-I make Maria uncomfortable.”

“Because you’re dead.” Maria’s words were punctuated by harsh laughter and a fresh wave of tears down her cheeks.

“He was dead.” The soothing sweetness of Isobel’s voice took Tess by surprise. It shouldn’t have. She’d heard it before, but things directed toward you often hit differently when directed elsewhere.  “Mimi was lost to you. Science couldn’t bring her back. There are things greater than science.”

“No. Nothing is greater than science. There’s just science we understand and the science we don’t.” Tess knew now wasn’t the time for a debate, but something made her bristle at Isobel’s explanation. Their powers weren’t magic. 

“He is not science. He is the walking dead with better hair.” Maria was far from okay, but falling back on the humor seemed the only choice in the face of Isobel and Tess’ calm. She knew what she knew. She looked toward it, and watched it cower under her gaze. They were locked in fear. She over the hell it would bring. 

Isobel scrunched her nose and shook her head. “We hate his hair, Maria.”

“I like the hair;” Tess voice was playful, “It makes him look like a werewolf.”

“What am I even supposed to say to you, Tess?” Tess shrugged at Isabel’s contorted face.

“I like it too.”

“Et tu, Maria?”

“But he’s still fucking dead.”

Michael and Alex pushed through the door.

“Why’s the door locked, Tess?”

“Why didn’t you knock, Michael?”

Maria stood when she saw Michael. It was the most animated she’d been since Tess had pulled her into the house. She moved quicklyto close the distance between them. Hands on his arms she looked up at him. “Michael, what’s going on?”

Tess watched Isabel quickly mask her hurt. Alex didn’t bother hiding his irritation. Tess snorted and disappeared into the kitchen. Alex wasn’t far behind. 

“What did you tell her?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing.”

“Nope. Not my place.”  


“You literally brought him back from the dead. If it isn’t your place, then-“

“I’m not the one that kept this secret from her. I’m not the one that dated her and kept this secret. I’m not the one mooning over her in a bar that kept this secret. I’m not the current or former best friend that kept this secret. No, Alex it isn’t my place. You all did a shitty thing. Here are the shitty consequences.”

“You gave her a miracle.”

“A miracle she didn’t fucking question. You question the walking dead. What was the plan when you all were trying to science him back alive? Hey, Roswell he was part of a secret government task force so he had to fake his death, but he’s back now. Or were you going to wave your hands in front of people’s faces and tell them this isn’t the droid they’re looking for? I mean what the fuck, Alex.”

“We figured he’d leave town.”

“Great plan. Leave his parents devastated. Hashtag winning.”

“Honestly, I never thought we’d need an excuse because. . .I never thought it would work. No one saves the savior. Then savior 2.0 blows back into town and shit changes.” Tess cheeks flushed and Alex amended his words. “Not blaming. Just saying you were a miracle no one was expecting.”

“Yeah. Yeah. You better get out there before Michael and Maria start dating again. She was on Michael like she was a cat and he was a scratching post.” Tess and Alex grabbed more glasses and left the kitchen.

”You are the worst person.”

”You love me. And if I were you all, I’d wait on the Rose’s alive too thing.” Alex raised an eyebrow in her direction before exhaling.

Maria was sitting again. Isabel was right next to her and Michael was in the chair across from her. Liz had arrived while Tess and Alex were in the kitchen. She sat on Maria’s other side holding her hand. “Hey, babe. How are you?”

Max still stood away from the group. Tess placed the glasses she was holding on the table and joined him.

Liz’s hushed whispers floated toward them, but Tess wasn’t interested in the director’s cut of the alien explanation.

“This is a lot just to tell her the truth.”

“A lot of people?”

“A lot of talking. A lot of words that don’t need saying.”

“You are a wise werewolf.” Tess ran her hand down his arm, but missed the small moan that escaped his lips. Tess left him leaning against the wall and returned to the group. Alex was missing but returned with Kyle. Tess stood in front of Maria. “Maria?” Maria looked up at Tess. “I’m an alien. So is Michael and Isabel and Max. We were in the 1947 crash in pods. I healed Max just like I healed Mimi. Well, I resurrected him. That’s the whole story.” Tess turned and addressed the group, “anyone else want tacos?” Maria’s laughter stopped whatever vocal onslaught was headed Tess’ way.

“The four of you,” Maria pointed at each of them in turn, “are aliens? From the ‘47 UFO crash?” She waited. It was Isabel who nodded. “And you,” she pointed a shaky finger at Tess, “possess the power to heal?” Tess nodded because now was not the time for words. “And you all,” she moved the finger from Liz to Alex to Kyle, “have known for how long exactly?”

Liz spoke first, “we all found out a different times.”

“Okay, best friend, how long have you known?”

Alex spoke in a false whisper, “I’m guessing that’s for Liz.” Everyone but Tess ignored the quip. Tess moved out of the crowded space, biting her lip to stifle a chuckle.

“Ummm, since a few days after I came back home.” Liz lowered her eyes. Maria pulled her hand free of Liz’s grasp.

“And you, Alex.”

“A couple of months after that.”

“Kyle?”

“Around the same time Liz found out.”

Maria laughed again. “So, only me. I’m the only one that didn’t know.” She leaned toward Michael bending into his space. Her voice grew loud and harsh, “You knew before we . . . you could have told me. Why didn’t you tell me? How is that fair? Did you change me? Is something going to happen to me a year from now? Ten years from now? What are you? Other than a liar. Is this even what you all look like? Fuck! What is wrong with all of you. Look at you! Your faces just looking at me like I’m crazy. Like this is fucking okay. This is not okay. This is not fucking okay.”

“It was okay when Tess healed Mimi. You aren’t stupid Maria. What cure did you think she had. You thought she was what? A shaman? Skilled in the mystical arts? You knew that whatever she did it wasn’t of this world. Are you pissed that they’re aliens, or are you pissed you fucked one?” The words escaped Alex’s mouth like he was talking about the weather. His tone neutral, but the words were all bite.

“Fuck you, Alex.” Maria spit the words at him, but her eyes were full of hurt.

“Great. This is done. I’m leaving.” Alex stood. Michael pulled at his hand.

“Alex.” Alex sat down again and leaned toward Michael. He spoke softly, but his words carried, “Few more minutes, and we’ll leave together. I don’t need to stay.”

“I’ll wait for you outside.” Alex stopped in front of Max. “How’s the cabin? You need a ride out there.”

“Good. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“No problem. So a ride?”

“Ah, no. I was talking to Tess when all that happened.” He gestured toward Maria. “My fault really. I opened the door thinking it was Michael, but it was Maria.”

“Needed to happen. Some secrets are too big. And . . . and we should have told her months ago.”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

“See you later, Max.”

Max wandered into the kitchen. Tess was standing at the island slicing and eating a cucumber. “Hey there. Want some?”

“I don’t remember a lot but I remember those don’t have any flavor.”

“They are cucumber flavored. And you are no longer invited to share my cucumber. You wanna talk?”

Max hitched a thumb in the direction of the noise. “With that going on?”

Tess swatted, “Ehhh. Let them go at it. So, what’d you want to talk about.”

Max leaned down pressed his hands into the cool marble. “I feel out of sorts. Like I am not adjusting quickly enough. Nothing feels familiar. Nothing other than you, I mean. I know Liz said it was from you healing me and that the connection would fade, but I feels as strong as the first day. I saw who you are. I just feel most comfortable with you. I know I loved . . . I love Liz, but I know because people are telling me that. I do no- don’t remember it. You are the only person not telling me who I was. I guess?”

“I don’t who you were, Max. I hadn’t seen you since the summer after graduation, so I can’t fill in any of the missing pieces, but you can’tlet their memories of you define you. You’re a new Max Evans. You get shape this second life, so shape it. And if you fall in love with Liz again, you won’t have to remember because you’ll be too busy living it. You know what I mean. But you need to tell her. Tell her you aren’t sure. Tell her you need time. Maybe date. I hear the Crashdown makes great shakes.”

“I noticed . . . Why aren’t the two of you friends?”

“That’s nothing. Honestly, she was so . . .committed to bringing you back that she sort of forgot herself. She loves you. She will listen to you. And I don’t have to like her for you to love her. I love Alex and Michael, but I don’t love all the people they care about. I don’t have to. I just have to love them.”

“We’ll still be friends.”

“We are friends.” Tess smile crinkled the corners of her eyes. “It’s the craziest thing though. Because we definitely weren’t friends before. I actually thought you were in an incestuous relationship with Isobel for all of high school.” The bark of Max’s laugh quieted the voices in the next room. Kyle peaked his head around the open doorway.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

It was a single word but it was filled with softness. 

“Michael and Alex are gone. It’s just Liz, Maria, and Isabel. I’m going to shower. I’d ask if . . . we had fewer visitors.”

“Just fewer.”

“Yeah, one or two would be fine.” Kyle winked before disappearing.

“He lives here.”

“Uh, no. He has his own place.”

“Oh.”

“I actually spend more time at his place than he spends here. This place is too big most nights.”

“Yeah.”

“You know Max you don’t have to stay in Roswell. It’s always going to limit you.Everyone here knows you. Michael told me you wanted to see the world. Go see it. Ask Liz to go with you.”

“With all my secret money.”

“You have money. You died. Your will left everything to Isobel. She doesn’t need it.”

“Does it limit you?”

“Roswell? No. I’ve seen the world. Galaxies even. Roswell is what I need right now.”

“I think Roswell is what I need right now too.” Max grabbed a slice of cucumber from the pile. Tess picked up her own slice and raised it. 

“A toast. To Roswell.” The both stifled chuckles as they touched cucumber slices. “Shhh. We can’t have too much fun. There is big, serious talk in the other room.”

“The most serious. Humans aren’t alone. And they aren’t advanced.”

“Don’t let them hear you say that. One minute they’re your friends, and the next you’re locked in a super secret bunker without you powers.” Max’s brows knitted together. “Woah. Woah. Joking. Very much joking. Relax Max. No one else knows about us. You’re safe.”

“Maria doesn’t seem safe.”

Tess shrugged. “She’s blowing off steam. She has the right, you know. Her friends lied to her. All of them. She’s definitely one of my least favorite people, but you can’t deny her that hurt.”

“I may not have memories, but I have instincts. Angry people do things they regret.”

“Some do. Maria isn’t going to lash out like that. Like the rest of us, she can be selfish and self-involved and short-sighted and lie to herself, but she isn’t a killer or particularly vindictive. I mean she hates me. Really fucking hates me. Thinks I slept with Guerin. Broke them up. Got him back together with Alex and basically ruined her life, but I’m still here. No group of secret soldiers has come to take me away and throw me in a cage.”

“You wouldn’t let them.” It was respect that moved him to speak.

Tess face was expressionless. “I wouldn’t let them.” He knew his broad smile didn’t fit the occasion, but he couldn’t help it. There she was, wrath and ruin and war. This was his Tess.

The sound of shattering in the next room made Tess jerk and the thin blade slid deep into the pad of her thumb. “Shit!”

Liz voice called out from the room, “A glass slipped. It’s fine.”

Tess ignored Liz. Blood was making its way down the side of her hand and slipping onto her wrist. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a towel. “Damn it.” She moved to the sink, leaving drops of blood on the countertops and the floor. Tapping the faucet, Tess plunged her thumb under the stream. Sucking inward at the sting of water irrigating the wound. 

“Could I help? Try to heal it?”

Tess looked over her shoulder. “It’s okay. Just a cut, not to deep just bloody. There’s no need.”

“I don’t think . . . I don’t think my powers are . . . could I just try? Please.” Tess faced him, the water in the sink a faint trickle.

“Okay.” Max stepped forward and took her hand in his, turning it so her palm faced skyward. He lowered his other hand, cradling her hand between his two and closed his eyes. He reached out to the molecules in the air. He reached out to her mind. Her soft gasp let him know that he’d connected. They were connected. It was a rush of sensations and he let it fill him. He couldn’t feel Tess trying to free her hand, but he did feel her breaking the connection. He stepped back with a gasp. When he opened his eyes, Tess stared at him, but it wasn’t the openness they’d just shared. She’d shuttered herself before him, putting up a wall. His eyes were a plea. Kyle’s voice interrupted the unspoken conversation.

“What the hell! Tess! Your hand.”

“Just my thumb.”

Kyle steered her to the sink, holding her elbow.He adjusted the pressure and temperature, holding her hand under the gently flowing stream. “What happened Tess?”

“Startled by something breaking. Slip went the knife.” Tess tried to twist around. “Are my cucumbers okay?” 

“Tess screw the cucumbers. Hand up.” Kyle wrapped a clean towel around her thumb. “Be right back.”

Tess unwrapped her thumb and looked and the cleaned wound. It was a straight line. It wouldn’t need stitches. Max was standing clear of her. 

“It’s okay, Max.” She was talking about more than the cut and the failed attempt to heal her. She saw his wounds, but she hadn’t seen the source. It was hidden beneath layers. “This isn’t something that needed healing. It’ll heal on its own. Your powers will come back.” Something between them had changed. Max could feel it.  He could only nod at her, knowing behind her words her thoughts were swirling. But he was also enthralled, she wasn’t afraid.

Kyle was back gauze, bandage, and tape. “We need to checkand see-“

“Checked. Don’t need stitches.”

Isobel came around the corner and spotted the smeared drops of blood. “What the hell happened in here?”

Tess snapped back, “What the hell happened in there? Doesn’t matter. This is over.” Tess jostled from foot to foot. She was eager for Kyle to finish. She wanted her house back. “Done?” Eyes wide, Kyle nodded. 

Tess swept through the doorway to where Liz and Maria sat side-by-side on the sofa. “Time to go.”

Liz looked up, “Excuse me?”

“It’s time for you both to go. Maria get over this somewhere else. And by this, I mean the betrayal. Maybe, call Alex for tips. The alien thing, please.”

Maria laughed, eyes rolling upward. “You remain a bitch.”

“Sure.”

Liz put her hand on Maria’s arm. “Come to the Crashdown with me. We’ll talk more. Let me get Max.”

“Max got over here on his own. He can get back to the cabin on his own.”

“I’m good Liz. I like the walk.”

“It’s 10 more miles outside of town.”

“I was in a pod for a while. I like to stretch my legs. The desert is beautiful at night. Could we have breakfast tomorrow?”

Liz smiled, pressing her lips together. “I’d like that. I’ll come to the cabin. And bring breakfast. We’ll try again.”

“Okay. Goodnight everyone. Thanks, Tess.” Max walked out the door and turned the corner. He didn’t make his way to the road. He sat with his back pressed to the side of the house. There he waited for the next thing he needed to hear. He hadn’t lied. The desert was beautiful at night, and he still planned to stretch his legs.


	10. Let’s Me Know I’m Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

The drive home was quiet. Alex could tell Michael had something on his mind, but he wasn’t going to pull it out of him. He waited and watched the world fly by through the passenger window. The stars were bright in the inky blue of the night sky. He thought about how much brighter they would be at the cabin. It wasn’t home, but it was were they’d pieced themselves together. Michael was home.

Michael’s brow was furrowed and he looked every so often toward Alex. The relaxed posture of his body was a contrast to Michael’s tight grip on the steering wheel. He wanted to talk about subjects he thought forbidden, but he was also afraid of toppling what they’d built together. But they’d promised. If you think it. Say it. If you feel it. Say it. Good or bad. It was how they moved forward.

Michael pulled into the driveway, as close to the gate as possible. Alex slid out of the truck before Michael had even opened his door. He walked to the small courtyard and waited. 

Michael’s voice appeared before his body, “When are you going to give Maria a break, Alex?”

“Are we talking about Maria now?”

Michael threw his arms wide. “I guess we are. You were never going to bring her up, so here I am asking the question.”

“And we’re talking about when I’m going to give her a break?” Alex knew he was frustrating Michael. He knew this conversation was overdue, but he also hoped to avoid it just a little longer. 

Michael let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Look, you forgave me. Why haven’t you forgiven her?”

“I have forgiven her, but it’s more complicated than all is forgiven let’s go back to the way we were. We aren’t seventeen and sad, Michael.”

They both let the final comment hang in the air because with it, Alex had cut off any comparison between Maria and Tess. Michael knew it would have been a weak attempt, but it was an argument he’d planned on making. Now he couldn’t.

“Explain it to me then. Why me and not her,” Michael’s voice rose and seemed far louder than it was. The walls of the courtyard catching the confusion and pushing it back toward them.

“Because you didn’t lie,” the words were like fire out of Alex’s mouth. “She told me you didn’t mean anything. She told me it would never happen again. She lied. I don’t trust her,” Alex’s voice had lost some of the heat, but his face was twisted between pain and anger. “This isn’t about not loving her. I loved her before you ever knew her. I loved her before I ever loved you.Before this I would have put anyone in the ground that hurt her. And for the record, I still would. None of that changes the fact that she lied.” Alex was out of steam. “And none of that means you can’t be her friend. I didn’t ask you not to be her friend. I never would ask that of you. But in return, please don’t ask me to bury my feelings because when I do, I can’t be good for anyone and I want to be good for you, Michael.”

The silence carried from seconds to minutes. When Alex realized Michael wasn’t going to respond, he filled the silence, “I’m going to bed.”

“Angry?”

“No. Just tired. You coming?”

Michael shook his head and stood still. Alex looked at him for a beat before turning and walking inside.Michael let out a harsh laugh and kicked at the ground, slapping a chair as he turned to his truck. “Walk away, Alex. Fucking walk away,” it was barely a whisper and laced with sadness.

Michael sat on thebed of his truck trying to figure out what came next. A shadow drew his attention.

“Little help?” Alex walked toward him, changed now into sweats and a long sleeved t-shirt. The pile of blankets tucked under his arm was slipping with every step. A six-pack of beer swinging in one hand while he held his cane with the other.

“Afraid I was going to get cold, Private.” When Michael reached Alex, he grabbed the blankets and the beer, standing to face him.

Alex returned his gaze with a smile, “Well, I left the door open, but you didn’t come inside, so I figured we were sleeping under the stars.”

Michael glanced away and then back again. “Well . . . I thought we were having a fight. Thought you were pissed. And walking away. Then I was pissed.”

Alex’s smile fell away. “For the record, the tired of walking away thing still applies.” With a smile and teasing in his voice, Alex placed his hand over Michael’s heart. “Even though I’ve totally domesticated you.”

Michael threw his head back and laughed loud before placing his hand over Alex’s “Oh, really? Domesticated me?” Starlight lit up the honey of Michael’s eyes.

“Completely, Michael.”


	11. We’ve Made Every Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

Liz pulled the door closed as she left Tess’ house. She moved quickly to catch-up with Maria.“Maria, wait!”

Maria stopped and spun around. “Liz I don’t want to talk to you about this. Not right now. You lied to me. Lied. But I love you, so I’ll say this. No matter what you all say, that is not Max Evans.”

Liz shook her head at Maria’s last words. “He just doesn’t remember anything, Maria, so of course he doesn’t feel the same. And his . . . aura . . . I’m sure it’s different. He died. He came back. The world is brand new to him.”

Maria gave her a pitying laugh. “No, Liz. He doesn’t remember anything because that isn’t Max, and you all feeding him someone else’s memories isn’t going to change that. There is something wrong with him.” Maria looked away before continuing. “Maybe there’s something wrong with all of them. They’ve destroyed our lives. They turned you all into liars. And whatever excuses you think you have to justify that, keep it yourself. I’m not interested.”

“Destroyed lives. Come on. I get it. Tess . . . well, Tess is an absolute nightmare, but she didn’t destroy anything Maria. Guerin broke your heart, but he didn’t destroy you. They aren’t monsters. They’re so damn human.”

“But that’s just it, they aren’t human.” Maria closed her eyes and released the tension she’d been holding. “I’m not running off to turn them in, but you’re wrong if you don’t think this is dangerous. That he, Not Max, isn’t dangerous. I don’t trust him. And . . .be careful.” Maria stopped herself from telling Liz about the way Max’s eyes followed Tess. She didn’t want to hurt Liz. 

“Please come to the Crashdown.”

“I can’t. I don’t trust any of you right now. And none of this feels safe. I need time. I just need all of you to take a step back.”

“I understand. If you need-“

“You know, I came here because I thought I needed Tess. I thought my mom was drifting away from me again. That Tess’ miracle,” Maria scoffed at the word, “that the miracle was fading. My mom told me she saw Max Evans. Turns out she did, and if I’d believed her, you all would still be lying to me. What a fucking world.”  Maria gave Liz a small wave before pivoting and heading to her truck. Liz watched her climb inside and drive away before leaving.

The shadows parted and there stood a man.


	12. There’s a Stranger Where My Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the warnings. This chapter has been written for almost a month, but as S2 progresses my motivation wanes.

“We’re closed.”

“It was unlocked.”

“It wasn’t. What the hell do you want.” Maria bent without taking her eyes off Max. She grabbed the shotgun from beneath the bar and placed it on top of the scarred wooden surface, resting her hands on either side. “That’s far enough. Stop right there. I’ll ask one more time. What the hell do you want?

“I came to apologize for scaring you earlier today.”

“Great. Leave.” It wasn’t lost on Maria that she was alone. Not just alone with this Max, but actually alone and adrift in the world. A week ago, six months ago she had friends, best friends that she trusted, friends who trusted her. Friends who listened to her, but Liz hadn’t listened and now this imposter was standing in her bar. His voice was gentle, but his eyes were menace, drilling into her and preaching an inevitability.

“Sorry. I’ll go. I’m trying to fix things.” Max said the words but made no move to leave.Not all of his words were a lie. He wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t going to go. He was trying to fix things. He wanted what was denied him in another life, and if this one was going to deliver, he’d endure what he must and destroy the rest.

“You’re full of shit. That aw shucks act worked for the real Max Evans. And it just barely worked for him. You are not Max Evans. You’re something rotten and festering. You’re a wound dripping darkness and ugliness and jealousy. I can see it swirling around you. You’re not fooling me. Get the fuck out of my bar.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You can. You will.” Instead of leaving, Max took a seat at the bar. Maria grabbed the shotgun, took three steps back, and aimed. He didn’t flinch or blink. The gun jerked free of her hand and slammed against a distant wall.

“I’d like you to listen, Maria. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask. I could also not ask. You let me know.” An unlabeled bottle filled with a clear liquid made its way to his open hand. Pulling the cork free he took a long pull from the bottle. His face took on a contemplative look. “Reminds me of something from home.”

Maria voice took on a light and musical quality, “Where’s home?” Her eyes betrayed her now. Fear had washed away all the bravado. All she had were the knives they used to slice fruit. Nothing that would hurt him long enough to give her a chance, but it was a chance. She leaned across the bar, smiled, and batted her lashes. She propped her chin up with one hand while the fingers of the other slowly walked across the cutlery beneath.

Max leaned in closer and returned her smile. “Does that work?” He returned to his upright position and gave a small smile. His laughter muffled. “What weak minded things you humans are. I came here for a reason and your leaning toward me and offering a smile isn’t going to change that.” The smile faded and his face hardened before he spoke, “some fucking dignity, please.”

Maria’s hand grabbed and she reared back ready to bury the knife in his hand, but she was frozen and being dragged backward. She hit the shelves with a hard crack. Her back ached, liquid sloshed over her and down her back, glasses tumbled and shattered all around her. She struggled to move, willing her mind to break free. She heard the crunch of glass off to her side, Max was in her periphery until he was standing right in front of her. He bent down and leaned in until his mouth was nestled against her ear. His hands rested lightly on her hips. “All I asked was that you listen.” With that he stepped back releasing his telekinetic hold over her. The knife grew hot in her hand and she dropped it to the floor. She took one step before his hands were around her neck.

He didn’t enjoy killing or death, but he couldn’t deny there was power in watching the fear widen in her eyes. It helped him ignore the pain of her nails tearing through his flesh and her fingers prying at his. He tightened his grip and the fear slipped into resignation. She steeled her expression; it was dignity. He respected it enough to work faster. He reached out with his mind to increase the pressure and like that she was dead. He left her slumped behind the bar.

He didn’t enjoy killing or death, but some things and some people were disposable. He stumbled as he tried to exit, every use of his powers weakened him. He needed to remember this body only looked like his body. It was limited in so many ways, but the memories were useful when they rose to the surface—evidence, investigation, fingerprints. He walked outside, faced the Wild Pony, and used his mind to reach through the vibrations all around, shaking molecules, speeding them up until friction became spark and spark became flame. He let it burn. He wiped away the blood beneath his nose as he turned. There was a blaze at his back as he walked into the desert. In every war, there are victims. Maria Deluca would be missed.


	13. A Legend That Rises and Unfolds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting. 
> 
> When one of their own dies, they realize together is the only way forward. They’ll have to put the pieces together before another of them is claimed and consumed by a hidden darkness.

“Hey, Alex.” Tess let him in and closed the door. He hadn’t moved into the house.

Why aren’t you dressed?”

“Why would I be?”

“Because you can’t wear a Sesame Street t-shirt to a funeral.”

Tess stopped to look back at Alex. “I’m not going to the funeral, Alex.”

“Yeah, Kyle told me you said that.”

“Then why are you here? I’m not going. Maria won’t care. She’s dead. And if she were alive, she wouldn’t want me there.”

“Funerals are for the living, Tess.”

“Yes. For people who are mourning, I’m not. It’s sad. I’m sad. She had a whole life. It’s tragic. She didn’t deserve it. My heart is breaking for Mimi because she finally got her daughter back, and her daughter got her mother back, but I’m not going to pretend that Maria was a friend and that I need a funeral for closure.”

“Going is the human thing to do, Tess.”

“That joke is getting old, Alex.”

“I’m not joking. You also go to funerals to support the people that are hurting. Your friends that are mourning. You don’t need to mourn her loss, Tess, but you do need to accept that the people in your life, the people you love, are devastated.” Alex moved into her space, leaning in and down. His voice, like his eyes, was hard and angry, “Go get dressed, Tess. We’re leaving in 10 minutes.

* * *

The funeral was short. Maria and Mimi were never ones for social norms. Never ones for church and speeches, the service was graveside. A closed, empty casket beside a hole in the ground was the only view. Everyone scattered and came back together at the Crashdown. Alex and Liz were Mimi’s constant companions.

Tess was sitting in a corner of the Crashdown far away from the buzz of tears and words. She was still nursing her first whiskey when Kyle slid into the booth next to her.

“You came.” He kissed her forehead. She leaned into it, closing her eyes.

“I was brought.” She kissed him on his cheek and wrapped her arm around his.

“I know.” His voice was muffled. His mouth buried in her hair.

“You ratted me out.”

“I did. I needed you here.” Tess levered backward still holding his arm, but she wanted to see his face.

“Why? You weren’t friends.”

“We weren’t enemies either. I’ve known her since kindergarten. And I’m here for Liz.”

“So I’m supporting you supporting Liz?”

“Is that a problem.”

“Supporting you has never been a problem. It never will be.”

“Ready to talk to Mimi?”

“No. I can feel her sadness from over here. I won’t be able to handle it if I get too close.”

“Come on.” Kyle moved out of the booth and pulled Tess with him. “I’m here for you too.”

They waited in the line of mourners. Alex was sitting across the room with Michael. He was still pissed and a single eyebrow shot upward when he saw Tess join the line. Her turn came too quickly, and she stepped backward instead of forward. Kyle’s form stopped her attempted retreat.

“Tess.” Mimi’s voice was soft and musical. She opened her arms and Tess walked into them ready to dull the jagged edges of her sadness, but she was hit by all the suppressed sadness. All the grief Mimi was holding down to get through this day. A mother’s wail, the endless tears, the screams wondering why, and the total loneliness. It was too much. So much chaos swirling that Tess missed Max Evans standing in the center of it all. Tess started to crumple in Mimi’s arms.

“I’m so sorry, Mimi. I’m so sorry. I wish I could save her. I would. For you, I swear I would.” She held tighter, pulling at Mimi, trying to take in her pain.

“Tess. Tess.” Strong hands pulled her away from Mimi and held her. They were Kyle’s arms and he was nearly carrying her outside. She gulped in great swaths of air and stumbled toward the rows of parked cars. She heard so many familiar voices. She braced a hand against the warm door of a nearby car and bent, retching.Kyle rubbed her back. She could feel the glide of his hand through the thin material of her dress.

“Kyle, what happened?”

“I don’t know, Alex. She started talking. Babbling. Close to saying too much.”

“She tried to take her pain.” It was Isobel’s voice. A mixture of sadness and worry.

“You all can do that.”

“I can ease it, but Tess . . . with all the training . . . her powers are . . . yeah, she can.” Tess stood and moved away from the pool of sick, sliding down the side of a van, welcoming the cool of the shade.

While Kyle, Alex, and Isobel spoke, Michael moved between the cars to Tess. When he found her, he kissed her temple and she slid down until her head was in his lap. He draped one arm around and over her, his head tilted against the van, eyes closed. She pulled his free hand to her. He just held onto her, and she held onto him.

Max watched from the last row of cars. He was hidden in glasses and a baseball cap, sitting in an old Jeep Michael had salvaged. The door was partially opened, one long leg hanging out, touching the ground. He’d been on his way to comfort Tess, but Michael had beat him to it. His mind traveled backward to Rath and Ava locked in countless embraces. The dirt around his feet shifted and cracks radiated from his feet and travelled across the ground.

* * *

After most of the mourners had left Mimi sat in a booth with Arturo and Michelle. They were silent, but didn’t move to go.

“I know who killed her.”

Michelle looked to Arturo. “The investigation is still pending. We aren’t sure it was arson. No signs of an accelerant-“

“It was Max Evans”

Michelle reached a hand for Mimi’s while tears tracked down Arturo’s face. He couldn’t help but think that in losing Maria, Mimi was losing herself again. Her recovery had been a miracle, maybe a short lived one. He used his gentlest voice, he was always kind but now he needed tenderness, “Max Evans is dead. It couldn’t have been him.”

“I saw him. It’s him, but it isn’t him. He killed her because she knew. And she was going to tell them.” Mimi turned to stare out into the darkened streets of Roswell, taking Michelle’s hand in her own. “It was Max Evans. I saw him.” Mimi reached across the table with her other hand for Arturo’s. “It’s okay. She’ll open her eyes. She’ll fix it. They’ll fix it.”

Michelle leaned closer to Mimi. “Who’ll fix it, Mimi.” Mimi was lost to them again, softly humming.


	14. Some Things Don’t Sit Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.
> 
> When one of their own dies, they realize together is the only way forward. They’ll have to put the pieces together before another of them is claimed and consumed by a hidden darkness.

The last of the mourners left, and Liz stood with what was left of her friends. When they’d finished clinging to one another desperate for comfort, they’d all scattered. Liz was alone and directionless. She watched her father sit with Mimi and Michelle, and knew she didn’t want to join them. Her grief felt too big to handle, but she couldn’t begin to imagine Mimi’s grief. The three of them sat with hands clasped. The Crashdown was too small for her. She regretted turning down the offers to stay with Alex and Michael, with Kyle, with Isobel, even Tess had held her tight and told her she was welcome.

None of that felt right, so she climbed into her car and found herself squinting as she drove into the setting sun. Her mind went to Rosa. Liz could hear the way the sobs stole her breath even through the payphone’s ratty connection. In the end, Rosa has decided to stay in rehab. She had months to go and knew grief was too big a test for her nascent sobriety. Liz had been proud, and for a brief moment, the corners of her mouth flicked upward at the recent memory, before her eyes filled again.

She was headed for the cabin and Max. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find or get from the man. With every meeting he felt more like a stranger, but she knew he was just one moment, one kiss, one scent, one touch away from his forgotten memories flooding and filling him.

Liz saw the way he frowned with the news of Maria’s death, but there was no breakdown. There was display of grief over the loss of a friend. Even Tess in all her stubbornness had let her resolve melt and the tears fall when she heard the news, burying her face in Kyle’s chest. She could understand. This Max didn’t know Maria. Liz was bracing for the day he remembered and his grief was fresh. She would relive the newness of her pain with Max, for him, she would experience it again.

In the days since Maria’s death, when she broke down about her lost friend, more often that not it was Kyle’s arms wrapped around her. When she thought she would never sleep again, it was Alex that pulled her close in her childhood bed. Their grief mingling. Their differences forgotten.

When she pulled up to the cabin, the smell of woodsmoke surrounded her. She looked in the rear view mirror at the red puffiness of her eyes, the washed out pallor of her skin, and her naked lips. She was unadorned, unprotected, and raw. She needed him to be Max. 

She couldn’t keep leaning on Alex. He had his own healing to do. She didn’t know if his grief was greater. Were his regrets greater than her guilt? He thought he had time to mend whatever pieces of their friendship could still be woven together, and she thought she’d have another chance to apologize for keeping a secret that didn’t belong to her. They were both of them wrong. And robbed by the universe. By the quixotic nature of life and death.

Max saw Liz sitting in the car. Since he first saw her in the alley, he thought she was beautiful with her big eyes and the soft fullness of her mouth, but with the tears streaming down her face and the red rim of her eyes, he found her intoxicating. It was the beauty mixed with vulnerability that stoked his arousal. Vulnerable things were pliant things. He liked pliant things. They never knew when they were broken. Although, he also liked a fight. Most of all he liked Tess. Ava. She wasn’t a willing, pliant thing. She was destruction. Even in this world, she was destruction. Maria thought so, and she saw through him, so he reasoned she must be right about Tess. Max thought of her as his journey into the light, but today he’d decided to play with the darkness.   


He had appetites. Like a god, he would feast and gorge and take. He closed his eyes and shuddered. His breathing becoming a pant. A languid tongue slowly tracing his lips. He could see the bruising of his handprints in the pillowy softness of her skin. Her thighs. He thought he could smell Liz. Through metal and glass and wood he could taste her. He swallowed and waited.

Liz kept staring at her face. She didn’t know who she was anymore. She first lost herself when Max died. She told herself again that she needed him to be Max. She broke the trance of the rear view mirror and looked through her bag for lipstick, one red and deep. With the tube in her hand, she removed the lid and started the slow swivel, the red slowly revealing itself. Just the tip was peaking above the gold tube when her hand stilled. Now wasn’t the time for armor. She reversed the turn and the lipstick descended into the tube. Liz replaced the lid and tossed it back in her bag. Now was the time for vulnerability. She looked to the cabin and thought she saw a shadow pass across a window. Max was waiting. She needed him to be Max. 


	15. When I’m Weak, I Draw Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.
> 
> When one of their own dies, they realize together is the only way forward. They’ll have to put the pieces together before another of them is claimed and consumed by a hidden darkness.

Silent thunder lit up the night sky, but no rain fell.

Liz pulled her hair into a ponytail as she walked toward the door. Her face naked. It would have to do.

She knocked softly, ready to leave if it went unheard.

“Liz.” It wasn’t a question. “Come on. Come in.”

“Where’s Kyle?”

“At home. He’s exhausted. It’s been a week. For all of you.”

“You’re here though.”

“I live here.” Tess’ smile was gentle. It wasn’t one she’d ever directed at Liz, but she saw it today when Tess looked at Mimi. Whenever she looked at Alex or Michael it was there. “We aren’t Alex and Michael.” She started to laugh but swallowed it.

“Who is!?” Liz let a chuckle escape before the tears started to fall.

Tess wrapped her in a hug, pulling Liz to her. “I’m sorry. Really I am.”

Tess stood with her arms wrapped around Liz until the sun finished setting.When Liz pushed back and created space between them, Tess let her arms fall away. “Let’s sit.”

Tess sank down on the sofa. Liz stared. She couldn’t believe how little time had passed since the last time she been there, but it was also so much time. She’d been here with Maria, sitting on this sofa and trying to explain all the secrets they’d kept from her. She nestled herself in the corner of the L-shaped sofa far away from the haunted spaces. Tess moved closer, pulling a blanket with her. There was a soft thunk on the floor before Liz pulled her feet up and onto the sofa, pulling the edge of the offered blanket across her lap. She pulled an edge to her nose an inhaled. The soft sage blanket smelled of sandalwood, honey, vanilla, and linden blossom. Deeper still it smelled like rain. It smelled like Tess.Liz watched Tess pull her legs into her chest and rest her hands and head on her knees, tilting her head to meet Liz’s stare.

Peering at Liz she could feel the turmoil and the fractures. The waves of guilt made Tess dizzy, and she raised her mental walls against the unintentional intrusion. Her defenses were still tattered from earlier in the day. Dragging a hand from beneath her head she touched Liz’s arm. Liz blinked twice and covered Tess’ hand with her own.

“You can stay. As long as you need.”

“Why weren’t we ever friends?”

Tess couldn’t help the quick raise of her eyebrows. “Ummmm . . . well, outside of Alex I wasn’t really friends with anyone in elementary school. I was actually an absolute ball of anxiety.” Tess laughed at the next memory. “I was afraid I was just going to scream I’m an alien at any moment. In the middle of circle time. Or that day when we were harvesting worms. What the fuck was that about?” It was a shared laughter that filled the house. Tess came back to herself. “Some days I would jump off the bus, run up the driveway, race into my room, and scream it into my pillow. My moms didn’t get it.” Tess pulled her hand back and pulled her legs even closer. “They had each other and I had them, but it wasn’t the same. Having someone can be a different thing. How you have them I mean.” Liz nodded. She knew. “But with Alex . . . I always felt like even if I slipped one day and told Alex, he’d still be my friend. I never trusted anyone like that. Not for a long time. Not until I met Michael. So we weren’t friends.” Tess shrugged at the admission. It was honest and matter of fact, but steeped in emotion. It wasn’t a truth easily given, but she gave it.

“Do you trust Kyle like that?” The only response was a soft smile. Liz wasn’t sure what that meant, but when she remembered the way Tess pressed herself into Kyle’s side at the Crashdown, she decided she did. Waiting a beat, Liz spoke again, “screaming out I’m an alien would have been bad.”

“So very.”

Silence descended and Liz watched Tess’ eyes drift closed. Liz would have thought she were sleeping, but she spoke again picking up the where she’d left off, “When we got older . . . Maria didn’t seem like the sharing kind. Alex wanted us, all of us, to be friends but first impressions and inherent stubbornness won. It used to be lonely when he’d run off to be with the two of you, but then I met Michael. And I had them both. It was all I needed.”

“She wasn’t. Tess opened her eyes when Liz spoke. “Maria. The sharing kind.” Liz thought back to how often she’d sometimes feel left out when Maria and Rosa wouldtalk in a language that seemed foreign to her or disappear while she was consumed by her homework. 

“I get it.”

“Do you? Get Maria, I mean.”

Tess reached for her phone and tapped lightly, the dim lights grew brighter and the encroaching darkness was pushed away. “Don’t you? I get feeling like a great big neon sign in a small town. I get wondering if someone is going to hate you just because you aren’t like them. I get pulling what you love so close that nothing else can get in. I get wanting Alex all to yourself. And Michael. By any means necessary. I get it.”

“I don’t know that I got it before I left Roswell, but being out in the world, I got it. Coming home and realizing people hated me, hated my family because of something they thought happened ten years in the past really cemented how easily people will cling to differences. Us versus them.”

Tess nodded. Her eyes never leaving Liz. Tess looked away before speaking again. “I never disliked Maria and I definitely never hated her. Her choices? Sure. We just weren’t ever going to be friends. It’s life.”

Liz raised an eyebrow. “Never my ass.”

“That only works when Alex does it.” Neither of them could make their smiles last for longer than a moment, but they came again before fading. “I hate what happened. My heart hurts for all of you, but I didn’t want to go to the funeral because I feel like an imposter. Like a voyeur to everyone’s sadness. It’s sadness I haven’t earned. I shouldn’t be taking up a space. I don’t belong. And wherever Maria is, because you know if anyone was going to be a ghost it would be her . . . wherever she is she’s probably thinking why the hell is Tess Harding at my fucking funeral. But just because I didn’t want to be there doesn’t mean I’m not here. I’m here. For all of you. Whatever you need.”

Liz cleared her throat. “Well, I didn’t come here to reminisce about Maria. I have Alex and Kyle for that. I came here so I wouldn’t. I came here for denial.”

“I can definitely do denial, but what about Max. I figured he’d be your first stop. Bonus, he doesn’t remember anything, so he’d be great at denial.”

“Yeah. I was there before I came here. I couldn’t get out of the car. I wanted Max. He isn’t Max. Not my Max.”

“Give it time.”

“I will, but for right now, I can’t be patient. Tomorrow. Or next week. But not today.”

“Absolutely. Like I said, you’re welcome here. Welcome to stay.”

“Wait till I tell Kyle.”

“Tell him . . .”

“That he was right about you. You are far more complex than scary alien occasionally lacking in empathyriddled with faux-90s angst and control issues.”

“And I’ll tell him you are faceted, contain layers even. Much more to you than an obsessive with questionable ethics and occasional homicidal tendencies.” Tess uncurled, standing and stretching before walking behind what had once likely been a bar.

Tess’ head disappeared from view. When she straightened she cradled three bottles in her arms. “Bourbon, whiskey, or thisbottle of gin that might be from Prohibition or contain the source code for bubonic plague.”

“I want to say the plague gin because I’m an adventurer.”

“Same.”

“But let’s go with the whiskey.”

“Bottle or bottle?”

“Bottle.”

Tess carried over the bottles of bourbon and whiskey along with two glasses.

“Your glass is just in case. I’m not quite at the swigging stage.”

Liz picked up the bottle and held it close. “Tell me about baby Tess. You and baby Alex and baby Michael.”

“You were friends with baby Alex too.”

“But he must have been different with you.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. What do you want to know?”

“Anything. Just tell me a story.” Liz clutched the bottle to her chest and leaned into the sofa’s willing embrace. “Tell me about a time when nothing hurt.”

“But it always hurt . . . But between always there were moments.”

“Tell me about moments. Please. I want to live in someone else’s memories for just a little while.”


	16. We Found One in One Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Evans is a changed man. Death will do that to you. Roswell isn’t ready.
> 
> Everyone has moved on, but accepting Max’s death was only the end of the beginning for them. When Max shows up outside of the Crashdown late one night, he destroys the new normal. He’s the fight they weren’t expecting.
> 
> When one of their own dies, they realize together is the only way forward. They’ll have to put the pieces together before another of them is claimed and consumed by a hidden darkness.

_** Summer Before 9th Grade ** _

“That your boyfriend?”

“That’s my Alex.”

“Is Alex your boyfriend?”

“No. Just my Alex.” Tess glanced up at Michael. “Do my moms know you’re on a ladder? Also, he’s gone, so you can stop staring. Also, also, I don’t share my Alex.”

Michael ignored her. “No one lives out this way.” He wasn’t talking to Tess as much as he was thinking out loud. He climbed down the ladder and grabbed the shirt he’d tossed into the rose bushes. “Is he gonna ride that thing all the way home?”

“His skateboard? Yeah. He doesn’t mind the distance. Keeps him out of the house.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the story?”

“Why you interested? Doesn’t matter.Not mine to tell. Ask him.”

Michael nodded at her, but didn’t speak. He dropped into the grass and picked at the splinters in his palm. Tess sat next to him and passed her water bottle. She left her hand flat and open, waiting for him. He took a long drink before placing his hand in hers. Reaching into her pocket Tess pulled free a pair of tweezers.

“You been carrying those all day?”

“Yep. Seemed like you were content with getting an infection, so I realized it was up to me to save you.”

“You can’t save me, Tess Harding.”

“The fuck I won’t, Michael Guerin.” The sound of his laughter rang across the yard and through the open doors on the deck. Calli looked up from her book and smiled, but Art’s mouth pulled inward, going straight and tight.

Tess hunched over his hand and slowly extracted each of the splinters. She looked up at his wide eyes and smiled so big before slapping the palm of his hand as hard as she could. “I make it hurt so good.” Turning her face upward in mock defiance and blowing him a kiss.

He’d thought about kissing her. He’d thought about her lots of ways, but today was the first time he’d thought about kissing her like he’d seen in the movies. Slow and gentle, pulling away and looking into her eyes before kissing her again, deep and long. He saw those eyes in his dreams. “Guerin? Guerin?” Michael came back to her, back to the real. “There’s supposed to be a meteor shower tomorrow night. Want to stay late and watch?”

“What about your Andrew.”

“You know his name is Alex. The way you watched him leave I think he might be your boyfriend.” Tess stood and brushed the back of her shorts knocking the small bits of cut grass free.

Michael leaned in and looked down at her. He put every bit of his teenage charm into his smile before he licked his lips and whispered. “Not even a little. I’ve got you.”

Tess looked down when she felt the blush creeping along her cheeks. Steadying her voice she dismissed his obvious flirtation. “Yeah. Yeah. Tomorrow?” Tess loved and hated the way he could look at her and make her feel things she couldn’t even name. She felt undone.

“Mhmmm. I love the stars.”

“Me too.” She bumped into his side and he swung an arm over her shoulders pulling her close. She’d loved the weight of his arm and the way his hand would brush against her bare arm.

All that summer and the ones that followed, Michael never asked Alex. He did his best disappearing act when Alex came over. Tess never asked him to hang out with them, so he figured he wasn’t welcome. And by the way she giggled when they disappeared into the old shed, they definitely didn’t need a third. He watched the other boy through the curls that covered his eyes. Saw enough to know why Tess had claimed him. Not just how he looked, which was something, but there was a gentleness about him, but he was also a fighter and a survivor. Michael knew about surviving.

Michael wasn’t the only one noticing. Alex was good at seeing when other people weren’t. He couldn’t miss the curls or the deep tan of his skin. He wanted to get closer. See the color of his eyes. From a distance they looked like amber or honey. He also didn’t miss the scar shaped like a cross. He had scars too but nothing so obvious. He knew then that they were the same.

Alex was shirtless in the cool shade of the old shed. His head resting on his arms as he lay on the old blanket. Tess was perched over him running her hands over his back. The stinging cool of the alcohol made him close his eyes and draw in a breath but he didn’t make a sound.

“What’s the deal with Art and Calli’s child labor?”

Tess was staring intently at the long raw line of pink marring the creamy pale gold of his skin. It minor and singular compared to last week’s.

“He’s not child labor. He’s Michael. He was my birthday gift.”

Alex lifted slightly and looked at her, raising an eyebrow as he spoke, “Good gift. I want one.”

They both laughed. Alex rested his head on his arms again and Tess went back to work. She felt Alex’s breathing start to slow down. He was exposed before her.

”Hey, Alex.” His response was only a grunt, but enough to let Tess know he was still with her. “Your dad still leaving for that long weekend in August.”

”Yeah. I can’t wait. My brothers will ignore me.” Tess couldn’t decide if the remark about his brothers was coursing with relief or sadness. She settled on both.

”So we’re still gonna do the Lord of the Rings marathon, right?” Alex rolled until he was on his side and facing her.   
  


“Yeah, we are.” His smile was slow and wide, eyes half-lidded when he responded. “I can still stay the night, right?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Tess laughed and gave his chest a gentle shove. Any excuse to touch.

”You’re so gross. You spend too much time with your brothers.”

”Not my brothers. Rosa.” He rolled back onto his stomach and it wasn’t even five minutes before his breathing slowed down and he was asleep.

Tess took her time cleaning the wound a bit more before taping the gauze in place. She caught herself leaning closer, wanting to place a kiss on the bare expanse of Alex’s back. She didn’t think he would mind, but Tess knew she needed to stop thinking about Alex as hers to kiss. He would be someone’s one day. Some other boy’s to kiss. Instead, she leaned and whispered into his ear, “All done.” He turned over groggy and pulled her down to him never opening his eyes. Tess rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, loving the weight of his arm and the feel of his hand on her hip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter plunges back into the dark and ugly places.


End file.
